Wondering....Whatever Happened To Flirting?

Chez Janou

What happened to flirting?

I ask myself this question every time I visit France. It blows me away how much flirting is still alive and well in this country. Sadly, it's something I rarely experience in the U.S.

French men do more than just flirt. They seduce you with their eyes in a way that can be more exciting than physical contact.

It happens everywhere: on the street, in restaurants, on the metro. It's not just the hot, young female things that get that treatment. Women of all ages get the once-over. Something, again, I rarely encounter back home. Maybe it's because I mingle with the same group of people? Maybe it's because I am no longer worthy of flirting with? Maybe it's our culture?

In Paris, it's different. Last time I was here, I met the man of my dreams at the Arc de Triomphe, albeit just five years too late. This trip has featured more of the same.

Take for instance, a dinner I had Tuesday night (which resulted in a red wine hangover of epic proportions Wednesday morning). I walked into Chez Janou in the 3eme with my daughter and stroller in hand, followed by my husband. A man having drinks with a friend at the bar, who looked like a gorgeous cross between Hugh Jackman and Jean Dujardin, literally devoured me with his eyes. His friend, a Lenny Kravitz look-a-like with a pool of blue eyes turned around and did the same. I smiled, held it perhaps a bit longer than I should have and moved on.

Here's the thing: I think it's fun, healthy and harmless. Nothing came of it.

As for my husband? He quickly started chatting with a young French couple who live in LA (he has a knack for finding people who live in the states). My daughter charmed the bar.

Alex and Jordan "mid-hug", hence the fuzzy iPhone pic

It's not just the adults. They start them young here. At an early dinner on Sunday, an adorable 2-year boy named Alex came up to Jordan and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. He then proceeded to give me a huge hug. His gorgeous mother proudly told me "Alex loves women!"

Embracing The Art Of Flirting
Are we so politically correct and worried about taking things too far that we avoid one of the most enjoyable aspects of life? In her book, "La Seduction: How the French Play the Game of Life", Elaine Sciolino describes flirting as a "process, based on the concept that the players are entitled to pleasure." She explains that the French "give themselves permission to fulfill a need for pleasure and that America's hard-working, super capitalist, abstinent culture often does not allow."

This is not about France versus the U.S. There is a lot not to like about France. The way they embrace flirting isn't one of them.

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